rainy day

Today is one of those days that I could just crawl back into bed, snuggle up and sleep until the rain stops. A few minutes ago I walked into the bedroom and it was nice and dark and my bed looked very comfy. The house is quiet this morning, Jennifer is at school, Bill is at work, there is nothing but the sound of the rain, it makes me tired. It has been a while since I have rambled to you all on the blog, so I thought nothing like a rainy day to ramble on the blog.
It has been a month since Bill and I got back from Michigan. How quickly the days seem to go, the memories of being there and returning home seem like they just happened yesterday and yet it has been an entire month. I have found myself wondering what our baby is doing these days. He would be a month old already and I wonder if he is ok. Is he getting enough to eat, is he sleeping well, has he been to the doctor, has anyone recommended a good speech or physical therapist to the mom, is he sleeping well? My list of questions could go on. I simply find myself wondering how he is doing. A friend of mine asked the other day if we had heard anything from our social worker in Michigan. The answer is no. The reality is that we probably never will. Not that the social worker would not pass anything on or that she doesn't want to know, it is simply the fact that the baby's mom will more than likely not talk to the social worker again. So my questions will probably never get answered and I will always probably wonder but that is just a part of it, something we will have to live with. I don't so much find myself missing our baby in the day to day things of life but rather when the events of life happen. A few weeks ago when it was Jennifer's birthday I was sad that Caleb wasn't here for that. As we went to graduation open houses this weekend I was sad that he wasn't here to go along. As we prepare to go on vacation in a little over a week I find myself sad that he won't be here to go along. I often think of how Jennifer would have loved her brother, probably a little too much at times but she would have loved him to pieces.
It was four years ago yesterday that we found out for sure that Jennifer had Down syndrome. It was four years ago that adoption was placed on our hearts. With all that has happened our hearts have not changed. In fact I would almost say that our hearts are burdened for children with special needs more than ever. Four years ago my out look on life changed greatly. The things that use to be important no longer were, the things that consumed me seemed to fade away. Now four years later I find myself in that same boat. I look at things around me and don't want to be consumed with the things of this world. I once again have a new perspective on life and what is important. (I could go on a little tangent right now but it would be long so maybe another day.) A month ago as I watched my sweet daughter walking in front of me down a hotel hallway, swinging her arm with attitude, my mind slipped back to that moment when she was a baby, that moment that Bill uttered the sweet word adoption into home. She was the reason we were there and she is the reason I would take this journey again. I would walk this road a thousand times over, loving on babies for a week at a time or as long as we are given because we know that there is a baby who needs our love and our family. We will keep walking this path one step at a time trusting God to mark out the path we are to walk on.
As I am finishing typing these words the rain is stopping and it is almost time for me to go get Jennifer from school. I need to go love my daughter, although she probably won't want me to!

fun weekend, new week

We spent another weekend celebrating Jennifer's birthday. Could life get any better for a four year old?! This weekend my parents and my brother and his family came up to visit. Jennifer was very excited all day Saturday, looking out the window may times before everyone finally got here. Jennifer's big present from her mama and papa was a trampoline!! She was so very excited. It is the same one that she has at school. She could not wait for it to be put together so she could start jumping. Jennifer's weekend got better because we got to go swimming! It is very fun to take J swimming now. She has realized that she can jump in and float in her inner-tube and she thinks it is great. It is so much fun to watch her. The water was a little chilly though so our nephews were not that thrilled but it was still fun. What a fun weekend! Jennifer finally jumping on the trampoline! It is fun to watch her. It is amazing how high she can actually jump, her little legs can get a long way up!
Jennifer got a new swimming suit for her birthday and of course she had to try it on, over her clothes!

After a long week last week and a busy weekend I am glad that it is a new week. Last week was a tough one. Hard to put into words but it just was. Lots of emotions still bottled up inside that are slowly coming out. Some days I'm not sure where the emotions I'm feeling even come from. Such a learning experience. I was thankful to have my family here over the weekend, I always laugh a lot when I am with them and I was able to love on my nephews who are just too cute. I am grateful for a new week, a wonderful husband who listens a lot and my family who made me laugh after a long week. It is great to be able to wake up each day with a new, fresh start.

Happy Birthday Jennifer!!

Today Jennifer turns 4!! It is hard to believe that our sweet little girl is four already. My how the time flies. We had some family over today for a little party and more family will be up next weekend for another party and then we will have yet another party after that. We decided

with all the craziness lately not to have a "big party". Instead our families are coming up at

different times to have several small parties for Jennifer. Which to her will be great! She loves it when things are all about her so this is perfect, her birthday gets to last a little longer this way. A friend from church made Jennifer a Barney cake and brought it over today. Jennifer thought it was great. Although she doesn't really eat cake she thought it was fun to have a cake made into her favorite character in the world. Here are a few pictures of our sweet birthday girl:

Here is Jennifer vacuming on her birthday!!  One of her favorite past times.

Jennifer's barney cake.  It was very cute.  I would have never been able to pull a cake like this off so I am very greatful to our friend who did!  Jennifer loved it!!Who doesn't love to get presents in the mail?!  Jennifer thought it was truly great!  The picture above is her sporting her new sunglasses from her aunt Jen.  The funny thing is that she really loves sunglasses!  (Way to go Jen, perfect gift).  When we are in the store and pass by the sunglasses we always have to stop and try a few one.

weekend

What a great weekend we had as a family!  The weather was great so we spent most of our time outside, doing yard work and just playing.  Bill got home Friday night and Jennifer could not have been happier.  She loves her dad to pieces and misses him a ton when he is gone.  Jennifer spent a lot of time with Bill over the weekend.  I could do nothing as good as dad, which is sometimes ok.  

Today at church Bill and I shared the journey of our time in Michigan with the congregation.  It

 was good to share yet also hard.  Bill and I are fairly private people so sharing with everyone is

 somewhat hard for us.  We are so blessed to be able to serve with such amazing people who care

 so very much about our family.

I was thinking today that all of our posts lately have been words, words, words.  So I decided that I would put on some pictures of Jennifer, just to liven up the blog a little.

A few weeks ago Bill's mom came up to help us with a few projects around the house.  She brought her sewing machine to sew some curtains for us and of course Jennifer thought she

 needed to do some sewing as well.  If you look closely you can see J's little glasses too.  It was too cute!

One Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago Jennifer, with no pants on, took a baby doll in her room and proceeded to take out every single shirt from her dresser and put them on her baby, if you look closely you can see all the shirts on her bedroom floor!  It was a mess but so very cute, I of course couldn't stop her but simply watch.

Jennifer has had Bill and I laughing so very much this weekend.  Her smile once again takes up her whole face and just makes us want to smile.  She laughs and laughs which makes us want to laugh.  She has had her moments this weekend, she almost four, but how we have cherished our time with her!