Still here

The past few days have been filled with lots of activities as a family of five. It had been a whole week since I had seen Jennifer and Mikayla and I was ready to see them! Bill left Omaha Saturday afternoon to drive home. Sunday afternoon, after church, Bill and the big girls packed up and headed to Kelly and I. It was the first time we would all be together, outside of a hospital room.
Sadly this afternoon our three visitors packed up to drive home. Kelly and I are still waiting for our paperwork to pass from state to state so that we can travel home. The days are starting to get long. It has almost been 3 weeks, 19 days if anyone is counting, since I have been at my house. Not only am I ready to be home but I am really ready to get Kelly home. Caring for a baby while trying to live out of a hotel is not ideal. We make Kelly's formula for an entire 24 hours at a time, then just measure it out every four hours, I am ready to be doing all of that in my own kitchen! Doing dishes in the bathroom sink is only fun for so long. I know Kelly can't speak for herself but she is ready to sleep in her crib for the first time.
I would be laying if I didn't say I was a little weepy this afternoon when part of my family went home. Please continue to pray that our paperwork gets handled quickly so that we can all be together again, in the comfort of our home.
On a side note I apologize for no new pictures. My computer has been having issues with the Internet and so I am doing this post on our iPad, which is not allowing me to add pictures. Just wanted everyone to know we are still here!

discharged

Sorry again for the lack of updates. The past couple of days have sort of felt like a whirlwind. Once the doctors started talking about discharge things got a little crazy. There was a lot that had to be done in a few days. Yesterday morning things were still up in the air about Kelly getting released. The doctor came in and asked if I wanted to get out today. Of course I said if it could happen we would be thrilled! So this afternoon after some training about the feeding pump, Kelly was released from the hospital! Bill came last night so was here for the craziness. The big sisters are not here, which is sad. Knowing there would be a lot going this morning we decided it was best for them not to come. So while we are so excited to be out of the hospital, we are kind of sad because we have to camp out at a hotel for at least the weekend. There is some adoption paperwork that needs to pass from state to state and that has not yet happened. So for now we are just going to rest and wait for paperwork.

This picture is from yeterday morning. When I got to the hospital in the morning Kelly was wide awake! She is starting to have some more awake time, which is very sweet for us.

 Kelly has been awake a ton today, I think she knew it was a big day!

 In the van getting ready to drive away from the hospital!

 We are getting settled into our hotel room for a few days, making it feel like home.

We will be enjoying a hospital free weekend with Kelly! It is hard to believe that after two weeks we get to enjoy a restful weekend with our baby girl. Hope you all have a great weekend as well! I will keep you posted and let you know when we finally get to make the full journey home. Thank you for your continued prayers for our family and for the paperwork to get completed quickly.

update

Okay, it has been a few days, I apologize! I can't really say that I have been so busy that there hasn't been time to update. But I do find myself looking at the clock and seeing that the day has passed. What does one do in the hospital all day with a baby who sleeps most of the time? In my case there is a lot of snuggling that is for sure!
So here is what has been happening the past few days:
Sunday night Kelly got another bath. Once again she did well until we washed her hair and then she hated it. The poor girl does not cry much but she cried and cried while we washed her hair.

Here she is getting ready for her bath. I know we have said it before but I will say it again, this baby girl could not be any cuter!

 Wide awake and ready for a bath!

Monday started off pretty normal. Kelly and I spent most of the morning snuggled up. It was a cloudy, rainy day here so really there was nothing better to do than snuggle. Monday afternoon my mom got here. She came to spend a few days with me and Kelly. It has been nice to have the company. She is holding Kelly right now and will leave sometime after lunch. What a blessing our families have been through this process!

 Tuesday was kind of a big day all around. In our adoption process yesterday was kind of a big day. It was an emotional day on lots of levels. I could write a very long story about this whole process and maybe someday soon I will share some of it. For now though we are thankful that yesterday has come and gone.

Yesterday also ended up being a big day around here because the doctors said the "H" word for the first time! They mentioned HOME!! Kelly has been plugging along well the past few days and so we are starting to talk about discharge. We have been here almost two weeks and to hear them talk about discharging our baby girl is sweetness to my ears. There is lots that needs to be done before that can happen but we are taking it moment by moment. Kelly will come home being feed through her g-tube so we will have lots of education on how to use and care for her g-button and feeding pump. Kelly will also have to have heart surgery in the future so we are making plans to have her stuff sent to our cardiologist closer to home. We could be out as early as Friday or if that doesn't happen possibly Monday. Please pray that Kelly continues to do well and that we can be discharged soon. In order for us to make the trip all the way home some paperwork has to be in place as well so please pray that it would be done quickly as well.

One of the things that has to be done for discharge is a car seat study. Kelly has to be in her car seat for the amount of time that it will take us to get home. So girlfriend had to be in her car seat for 4 hours! They did break it up and take her out after two, she got a little break and then back in she went. She did great and of course she even looks cute in her car seat! 

 Today will be a lot more information and another bath! So it will be a busy day at Children's. I will try not to wait so long before updating again. As always thanks for praying our family through these days!

Sunday

Kelly moved rooms this morning. They needed to use her room for an emergency birthing room. Kind of crazy. So now we are on the other side of the unit, with a different view.
We will now only be feeding Kelly with the bottle twice a day. She is having a hard time with reflex, so they don't really want her to work hard to eat and then throw everything back up. So it is g-tube feedings for now. They did take the nutrition she was receiving through her iv away. This is sweet for us because there is not as much stuff to handle when we pick her up. The line is still in her neck, in case we need to go back to it. But for now we are enjoying less stuff hanging off her.
Bill came to the hospital early so he could spend a little time with just Kelly. I was able to have a few minutes with just the girls, playing outside for a while. Then after some lunch Bill and the girls were off to home. It is hard to have them leave but I know they need to be home having some normal days too. Someday we will look back on this time and it will only be a memory.

A sweet picture of a daddy and his baby girl.

 Jennifer of course needed to hold Kelly one more time before she left.

 Jennifer thought it was pretty funny to copy what Kelly was doing, which is why her hand is in a fist in front of her face.

 Mikayla sat and read a book before it was time to go. She was one tired little girl after a busy weekend.

 One last good-bye to the baby sister, until they return next time....

 I just looked out the window and it is raining so I think it is once again a good afternoon to just sit and snuggle up with a baby girl.

Saturday

Today when Bill arrived at the hospital the nurse informed him that they had started feeding Kelly through her g-tube. We were kind of bummed at first but it will be better for her in the long run. This will help her put some weight on, which will get her a little healthier, which will ultimately allow us to get released from the hospital sooner. We will continue to try bottle feedings but for now she will get most of her feedings through her g-tube.

Papa Jim and Mama Sue made the trip out with the girls on Friday night and enjoyed some snuggle time with Kelly this morning. (I don't have a picture of grandma with Kelly because I had the camera and was not at the hospital yet when she was holding her.)

Of course Jennifer needed some time to hold Kelly as well. She is after all her baby.

It really was amazing how much better Mikayla did this weekend. She was willing to get very close to Kelly and even gave her a few kisses. 

Mikayla does a great job of entertaining herself with the silliest things. She loved playing with the crayons that one of the nurses brought into the room and not just for coloring a picture.

Grandma and grandpa left after we had lunch together and then we were able to spend some time with Kelly. It was fun to have an afternoon together as a family of five, even if it was in a hospital room.

We sort of made the hospital into our home for the afternoon. Jennifer laid on the floor and watched a movie, Mikayla curled up in my lap and took a nap and Bill snuggled up with Kelly. It was a sweet afternoon.

We tried to feed Kelly a bottle again, she wasn't really having it.

While the nurses changed out Kelly's iv stuff we left for a little bit. Of course while we were gone took some bottle! The poor girl has some reflex issues though, so while she is in the hospital she can lay on her belly for a while after eating. She is pretty cute all curled up with the bottom in the air!

After spending most of the afternoon with Kelly we took the bigger girls back to our hotel so we could go swimming and just spend some time together. It was good for me to have some time with the girls, I have missed them. Of course I forgot the camera every time we went to the pool so no pictures of that. Sunday morning we will all spend a little more time with Kelly before Bill and the big girls head home.

Friday

Friday did not really start the way we had anticipated. We found out some things on the adoption front that we were not expecting. Everything is okay, we just found out we were going to have to wait a few more days before things would continue to move forward. We made a few phone calls to try to figure things out and at the end of the day we just had to take a deep breath and continue to trust that God has a plan in this all.
Kelly was off to get her contrast study on Friday morning. It was very interesting to see how they did it. Poor Kelly was literally strapped to a board so they could x-ray her tummy and see what was going on in there. Kind of hard to watch your baby laid out like that but Kelly was a trooper. She fussed a little bit at first but then just decided there was no need to fight and went to sleep.

 After a busy morning girlfriend was tired. She slept for a good portion of the day. But look how cute she is while sleeping.

 The good news from the contrast study was that everything looked good. She has healed well from the surgery and so with that news we were given the okay to start feeding Kelly! Kelly however didn't really care to eat. We tried a bottle with her a couple of different times and she didn't do much. She has a good suck on a pacifier but she didn't really want to try the bottle. So we will just keep trying.

 A brief moment with her eyes open.

 The most exciting part of the day was when the big sisters got here! I was so excited to see them. And I think they were happy to see me too but I think they just wanted to see their baby sister, especially Jennifer. Does this smile not say it all?!

 Mikayla is doing much better this weekend than last. She actually even seemed excited to see Kelly, which was very encouraging. 

 Even with a rough start to the day it ended up being a great day. There is something about having all of our family together, even if it has to be in a hospital room.

big girl bed

Today little Kelly girl got to move to a big girl bed! Slowly but surely she is making progress. She does have to maintain her temperature in an open bed and so far she is doing good, partly because she gets held most of the day!

She is hard to see but yes, Kelly is in her bed right now!

The nurses have found some cute clothes for Kelly to wear. Fun to see her all dressed up and the hat just tops off the outfit. Sadly her outfit was very appropriate for today, as it was snowing here. 

 Kelly was pretty happy to see daddy tonight! Daddy may have been a little more happy to see his baby, he has missed his snuggle time with her. So tonight he is making up for lost time. And tomorrow the big girls are coming to see their sister again! Jennifer is pretty excited about getting to come see "her" baby but I am pretty excited about getting to see my bigger babies, I have missed them!

 Tomorrow morning Kelly will have a contrast study done to make sure everything is healing after surgery. If everything looks good we will get to start feeding her! So pray that all is healed and that when we start feedings all goes well. Also please continue to pray for the adoption part of this journey. Thanks for lifting our family up to our Father during these days.

the crazy mom

Another day is underway here at Children's Hospital. It is a cloudy, rainy day here. On a day like today what better is there to do than snuggle in with a sweet baby girl?
I began thinking this morning while I was riding the elevator that I wonder if I am the crazy mom of the NICU. We have been here almost a week now, that is crazy to think. And each day I get here before 8 and I don't leave until almost 11 each night. I basically stay until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. I leave to grab some lunch and again for supper but I am not gone long. Even if Kelly is just sleeping it is just good for me to just be in her room. Other parents are coming and going all day long but here I sit. Some babies have been here a while and their parents aren't here much, I wonder if some of them have to go to work or live farther away or have other kids to care for. The little girl in the room beside us has been here for seven weeks.  I heard her mom tell one of the nurses she had been work or school, I didn't get which. So I wonder have I become the crazy mom that won't leave! I suppose I don't really mind if I am. I don't really have any where else to go so I might as well be here, loving on my baby girl.  And I am thankful that I can just be here. I have an amazing husband who is caring for our big girls at home. He is trying to work while getting the girls were they need to be, get the laundry done, make meals, and just have things normal all while having his mind wonder what is happening with Kelly. And we have an amazing support system of family and friends who help us out at even given moment. All so I can be here. So I will continue to be the crazy mom for as long as we here.
In other news: Kelly had a little sponge bath today. And girlfriend hated it! Oh how she cried and cried. She has now been sleeping the afternoon away from all that crying. And we had been praying for her to poop as well. They did give her a little something to help her poop and it worked. She had two poopy diapers.

My goal was to take pictures while Kelly had her bath but I ended up helping with her bath and she was so mad about the whole thing I just couldn't take any! So here she is getting ready.

 What an ordeal! She got a new shirt on and was out. She has been sleeping since!

 There is a student with our nurse today and she wanted to take a picture of me with Kelly girl. So here we are hanging out!

another day down

Sorry for lagging behind on the updates. It is surprising how quickly the time passes when you aren't really doing anything. I guess I wouldn't say I'm not doing anything though, I have been spending lots of time snuggling with Kelly.
There is really no news to report as far as health issues go. Kelly has pooped a couple of times, which is really good. It means things are starting to work after surgery. For those of you interested in medical stuff, Kelly had Duodenal Atresia, or double bubble. Double bubble is much easier to say, ask me at any given moment and I will probably not be able to pronounce Duodenal Atresia the right way. Basically that means there was a block between her stomach and small bowel. If they do not fix it she cannot eat because she would just throw everything up. Kelly still has a suction tube in her mouth, which is sucking out junk from her stomach. We need that to lessen and become more clear in color before they will take that out. It is looking better tonight. Friday they will do a contrast studying on her to see if everything is working properly and they will decide if she can eat or not. The poor girl is starting to realizing she is hungry. She was sucking on the tube in her mouth today and frustrated nothing was happening. So medically we just find ourselves waiting, with the next few days probably just being the same.
On top of caring for a sick new baby we are also walking the adoption road. Yesterday I found myself simply exhausted, I had not done anything all day but just beat. I am realizing that there is just a lot happening with not only a sick baby but with adoption. So we just continue to take it day by day, or hour by hour sometimes, knowing that it will all work itself out.
Bill went home yesterday afternoon so the girls could have some normalcy in their lives. It is hard to have them almost five hours away while I am here. I don't like being away from my girls and I hate even more being away from my husband. But for a time this is just how it needs to be and there is a peace that comes with that.

Bill's mom came yesterday morning to see Kelly. (She was also Bill's ride back home!)

 In case you are wondering, this is not what this is suppose to look like. Kelly has a lot going on with tubes, iv's and leads she is hooked up to. After moving her from her bed to the chair and back to her bed, this is the mess I am left with. I just put the side up on the bed and let the nurses untangle it all.

 The nurse this morning decided that Kelly needed some clothes on so she found this cute little onesie for her to wear. Kelly was awake a lot more today, which was fun. She just trying to check everything out that was happening around her. 

After being awake for almost an hour the sweet girl needed a little rest. 

  It is getting late so I better spend a few more minutes snuggling with my sweet girl before calling it a night!

the journey

Adoption is a journey. Anyone how has gone through the process would probably say that. From start to finish, it is a journey. It is an exciting, happy, joyful journey but yet it is a hard, painful, emotional journey as well.
Yesterday Jennifer and Mikayla arrived to see their new sister. Jennifer could not have more excited. She wanted to love and hold her new sister. Even this morning Jennifer could not get here fast enough, she just wanted to hold Kelly. Mikayla on the other hand is very confused. She wanted nothing to do with Kelly. She did not want to get too close to her. And she didn't want a whole lot to do with me. When they walked in yesterday I was holding Kelly and I think she wondered what in the heck I was doing. Her sweet little heart and mind are processing a lot. But it is hard for me as her mom, especially when later in the day she wanted nothing to do with me. I have missed my girls horribly since Thursday and it was great to see them. But it was even harder this afternoon to say good-bye. Bill walked them down with my parents to the vehicle but I had to stay back, pretty sure I would have cried the whole way. I want to be here with Kelly, caring for her but yet I want to be at home too, giving my bigger girls some normalcy. My heart is torn in two. This is part of the journey. Part of the journey that we knew would be hard and difficult. This is part that I knew would bring tears to my eyes and keep my mind up at night. It is a part of the journey that we have to face and have to walk, taking it one step at a time. And in it ALL I know that God has us, all five of us, no matter where we are or who is caring for us, He has it ALL. And all though the journey is hard at times and breaks my heart in two, we would hate to not walk this journey because we know without a doubt that this is right where God wants us to be.

My mom took Jennifer to the store so she could pick out a gift for Kelly. She was so very excited to bring it to her. She of course opened it and then "showed" Kelly what she had brought. Very sweet to watch her excitement and joy of giving her sister a gift.

The one thing Jennifer had on her mind this morning was holding her sister. We got her all set up and snuggled in. It was pretty sweet. When I tried to move Kelly's head I was informed, "Go away mom, I got her." She is going to take great care of her sister!

 She kept kissing her forehead and whispering, "I loves you, I loves you." (Yes I wrote an "s" on the end of love, that is how she says and sorry to my friend Sara who does speech with her but I don't really want that to change any time soon!)

 This was about as close as Mikayla wanted to get. She just wanted Kelly in her bed to sleep. She did reach in and touch real quick.

 Bill, "Kayla do you want to see the baby?"

Kayla: "NOOOOOO!"

 We tried for a quick picture of the 3 girls together, not so much. Kayla wanted out of there as quickly as possible!

 The girls are on their way back to mama and papa's for the night. Tomorrow afternoon Bill will head home to spend the rest of the week with them. They need a little normalcy in this whole process. As for now Bill is snuggled in with Kelly just relaxing. Praying that soon enough we will all be home together and these days in our journey are just a memory.